But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
