He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
