you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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