you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
