she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
