Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She even gives head with a lisp.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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