Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
