I wanna bring you to show and tell
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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