his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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