Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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