Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
