she looked like the before picture.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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