I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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