what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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