Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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