You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
