party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
