Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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