Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
