drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
