Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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