I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
