So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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