Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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