btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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