You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
