Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
