My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
