At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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