I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
