I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
