I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
