I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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