try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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