Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
