PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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