Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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