Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
