No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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