He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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