Me. At least after what I've been through.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
