Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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