you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
