So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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