I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
