And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
