I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
