She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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