He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
