and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
