By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
