That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
